Finally, in a rare candid moment with reporters, President Donald Trump finally came clean about the drama concerning the size of his hands that has held America captivated since his election. As reporters were asking him about the climate change situation, he demurred, and told them he had already made up his mind. When the next reporter raised his hand and questioned the President about the ongoing Russia intrigue, President Trump angrily told the Secret Service to remove the reporter from the room. Outwardly annoyed, the President responded, "Please move on to something important, like my making Mexico pay for the wall by imposing additional taxes on Taco Bell, or how I'm going to start a war with the Mayor of London." One reporter stood up and said, "Mr. President, there is one question that has been dogging much of America, the size of your hands, as related to the size of your package. Can you share with us the details of the size of your Johnson?" The President's face turned a darker shade of orange as he glowered down at the reporter. " Listen you fake news perpetrator, I don't know what they have been telling you, but according to Breitbart, I have an above average size appendage." "Just how big is it?" the reporter asked. "My stuff is the stuff of legend. Ask Marla Maples, ask Ivana, ask those Russian hookers. It's huuuuge. It's THIS bigly." he said as he illustrated his point with his fingers. The reporter chuckled and said. " No further questions, Mr. Mini Me, er, I mean President."
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